if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
