you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Randomize
