I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
