She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
