are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
