at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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