Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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