White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
