After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
