u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
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Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...