I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.