It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
