; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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