the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
