Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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