no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to have your abortion
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
