Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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