uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
