Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
