Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i now understand why vodka
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
