Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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