i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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