omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
