Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize