Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
