Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize