You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
