We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
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Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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