dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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