I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
