I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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