yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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