I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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