I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He shit in the fireplace
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
