How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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