Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Mom said you looked used
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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