Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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