It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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