Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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