i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
