when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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