I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
