her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
