He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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