i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize