11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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