when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
