It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
