i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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