No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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