A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize