Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize