Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize