Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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