Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
