Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
