Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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