It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
