I puked a lego.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
