when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
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you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
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We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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