party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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