New invention idea: vibrating tampons
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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