his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
