Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
