Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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